You Don’t Need Anyone To Complete You: You Are A Whole Person

If there is something that society has always instilled in us, and even that most dangerous vision of romantic love, it is that we need someone by our side to feel, and even be, “a whole person”.

In this life, it is never easy to find that person who fits our values, who stands out as an ideal companion throughout our life span. Someone to learn from, someone to grow up with.

They “sell” us the image of a heart broken in half where each of us represents a part. We admit, of course, that it is something romantic and exciting but, in reality, we must never fall into the error of believing that we need someone by our side to be truly happy.

I am a whole person who is not looking for a dependent relationship

“Without you I am nothing”, “I can only be happy by your side”, “If you leave me I will die”, “I do not know what I would do in this life without you”.

These are phrases that all of us, in some way, have ever felt and even said out loud. In a way it is normal, because love and passion lift us up in such intense affection where we can lose the concept of our own identity.

Despite the fact that various investigations and studies show the conceptual differences of love between adults and adolescents, well, the data indicates that out of every 10 people, 9 have fallen in love at least 1 time.

Now, by normal we must not consider it adequate or healthy. All these ideas, feelings and phrases include all these aspects:

• If we do not see ourselves as a complete person, we will “lead” into an inadequate affective dependence on the other person.
• We focus our reason for being and our own self-esteem on our partners.
• This type of attachment makes us very vulnerable to what the other person does, says or decides. Any small disagreement can cause us great suffering.

• By putting our happiness in “the property” of another person, we lose, in a way, control of our own life.
• This type of behavior makes us lose our self-concept and self-esteem every day.

We are born being a whole person, we do not need anyone

Today there are many people who continue to emphasize this type of relationship. Especially younger people. It is very exciting to start a relationship where there is such an intimate, dependent union, where “all or nothing” characterizes every aspect.

However, if there is something that we must be clear about, it is that building a type of relationship in which we forget that we come into this world as a whole person will limit our personal growth.

A person, a man, a woman who does not attend to their personal growth will end up feeling the following:

• Frustration at not feeling fulfilled.
• The feeling of happiness will be brief. Until the moment we realize that the one who decides, who is always the only priority is the other person.

• When frustration comes into our lives, we look to blame. We feel bad about ourselves and, in the end, it is very possible that that love from the beginning will end up transforming into discomfort and rejection.

I am a complete person, proud of myself and capable of giving happiness

If there is one thing we should all aspire to, it is to build a mature and conscious relationship. Keep in mind that if we set ourselves the objective of “finding our better half”, you assume that you are half a person.

Don’t be in a hurry, let them find you

There is no rush to find love. First of all, you should focus on yourself, on becoming that person who deserves to be found, someone who is mature and satisfied with himself.

• Don’t be afraid to be alone. Loneliness unites us to our essence, to our authentic identity. 
• Enjoy who you are, your social relationships, your family, your independence. Fulfill your personal dreams and aspirations.
• Little by little, when you least expect it, you will find someone. And someone will find you. Do not force the situation, or go after someone who is not worth it or who has no interest in you.
• Allow the situation to arise on its own. Connect with that someone who, like you, feels like a whole person, mature and happy for who he is.

Find a whole person with your same values

There are those who are obsessed with finding someone who shares the same tastes, the same hobbies. Having the same “hobbies” is not the magic recipe for happiness.

A stable and happy relationship shares the same values ​​and respects their differences. In reality, what matters is enjoying sharing time, teaming up and learning from each other.

Find a whole person who does not have voids, otherwise, you will be forced to satisfy his anxieties, to tend to his wounds, to make him or her a whole person while putting your identity aside. What you are.