The 5 Seasons Of A Mourning Stage And How To Overcome It

All of us, at some point, will go through a stage of mourning. Many situations can lead us to anguish, depression or sadness. At some point in our lives we suffer a loss that causes us excruciating pain.  

The 5 seasons of a stage of mourning

When we have to go through a very painful and difficult process, most likely, we will have to experience the following “seasons”:

1. Denial

We cannot believe what is happening. We think it is a nightmare and all we want is to wake up to check that everything is okay. Disbelief and denial go hand in hand in this “station.”

2. Search for the person in charge

During this season, feelings of guilt or value judgments arise as to who was responsible for the situation. If we don’t get over it, we can spend years accumulating resentment and hatred. Our emotional wounds will never heal.

3. Depression

It is at this stage of grief  that we realize the magnitude of our loss. Crying, feeling lonely, insomnia and alterations in our diet are frequent signs of depression.

4. Anger

When we understand that we cannot do anything, we will most likely feel anger and frustration.  Also, we can get to unload all our annoyance with those who are not directly related to the situation.

5. Acceptance

This is the stage of grief in which we begin to heal. Face the reality of our loss, adjust to a new situation, heal old emotional wounds; it is a process that takes some of us longer than others.

Keys to overcome a stage of mourning

The situations that can cause us the most pain are death and separation. Grief is the stage that derives from the loss of a loved one that is very important to us.

Starting a new path despite that absence does not mean that we do not care about that person. Getting up and going is a duty towards ourselves. Otherwise, the grief becomes pathological and is very difficult to overcome.

Severe pain, not wanting to do anything, suicidal thoughts or exaggerated emotions should be treated by a professional through therapy. 

Even so, if you need to overcome the loss of a loved one, you can follow the following recommendations:

1. Cry all you need to cry

Crying is a great way to drain deep sadness or to vent. In the end, our body will thank us physically, mentally and emotionally.

That does not mean that we cry always and for a long time. But it is true that  tears have the ability to “cleanse us from the inside.”  It is essential to give ourselves permission to feel pain and not be ashamed when crying.

2. Take your time and your space

The grieving stage can take days, weeks, months, and even years. It all depends on personal factors, our personality, the lost relationship, our attitude …

We must not be too demanding of ourselves. We must heal completely, but we must not push ourselves to do so quickly. This is not about a race or breaking a record.

3. Seek support

Let’s find a shoulder to cry on, friends, family, co-workers… The important thing is to find someone who will listen to us or simply stay by our side when we need to cry.

We can start therapy with a professional or attend a support group. There are many, many people in a situation similar to ours. Talking about emotions with someone you don’t know is often more effective than with a lifelong acquaintance.

4. Express your emotions

Beyond finding a person who makes us feel loved and protected, it is very important that we talk about what happens to us. It is not necessary that another is listening to us, we can talk to the mirror or write a diary about our emotions.

A popular saying goes: “shared grief is half grief.” After expressing our feelings, we will feel more liberated. We do not remain silent, we do not keep emotions inside us, since they can turn against us.

5. Take care of yourself

In the grieving stage, it is common to neglect daily tasks, including our personal hygiene. However, we must stay hydrated, nourished, and clean. Otherwise, we will not be able to heal emotionally and spiritually.

First we must take charge of our physical state. Showering, combing your hair, changing clothes, trying to get out of the house, get fresh air, eat healthy … everything that benefits us can help us overcome this stage of grief.

Finally,  we recommend that you do your best to continue living your life. Even if it’s hard, even if you’re broken inside, even if nothing makes sense; go ahead and see how slowly your wounds heal.