My Son Doesn’t Want To Give Up Video Games

My son doesn’t want to give up video games . That is the desperate cry of more and more mothers and fathers who cannot get their children to detach themselves from the computer and lead a normal life.

Arguments between parents and children about the time spent on the computer has become a daily routine. At the same time, the number of children and adolescents addicted to video games is increasing.

Like any addiction, it needs psychological treatment. However, as parents, we can notice some signs to detect if our child is not capable or does not want to give up video games. Thus, we can take action before the situation gets out of hand.

Video games for children: are they safe?

Roblox, the video game platform for fashionable children and adolescents, starred in a news that went viral. In one of the games, the avatar of a 7-year-old girl was raped by two other users.

The platform allows users to create games and virtual worlds. In addition, it guarantees that it has strict filters to protect children and adolescents who play around the world.

However, the creator of the game admits that the security systems were circumvented in the case of the violation.

The girl’s mother, Amber Petersen, recounted on Facebook that one morning she saw her little girl in shock as she looked at the screen. As he approached, he saw the female character of his daughter being raped. Despite the disgust and remorse he felt, he managed to take the necessary screenshots to make the immediate complaint.

The platform, which has 40 million online games, is the favorite of more than 60 million children and adolescents who actively play. Although it is recognized for its security, it was evident that in Internet video games nothing is 100% secure.

Effects of video games on children

The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends that children should not play video games for more than two hours a day starting at the age of 6. In fact, playing video games without overdoing it can pay off in a number of ways.

The important thing is that the time spent on them should not take up the time spent on physical activity or on rest and sleep.

However, the problem begins when there is a lack of control of the impulse. In this case, they could have psychological consequences.

Neural patterns displayed by video game addicts indicate that there is an imbalance in the brain’s reward system. Which is not very different from other addictive disorders.

Likewise, in cases where there is  sustained exposure to violent content in some video games, desensitization processes can be triggered. These processes affect regions of the brain related to the control of emotions and the processes of attention and concentration.

The responsibility of parents

The children of the 21st century live surrounded by technology. This is an indisputable reality.

However, this does not justify that we cannot control at what age our children access different electronic devices. We should also worry about what content they consume and how many hours they spend in front of the screen.

And it is that, how can it surprise us that they develop an addiction? If from increasingly young ages they use smartphones or tablets. If an increasing number of hours are glued to the screen every day, jumping from one game to another, without knowing what kind of games they play. Thus, it is not uncommon for them not to want to give up video games.

Parents are responsible for preventing the taste for video games from getting out of control and affecting the normal lives of children and adolescents. Since they have the first device in their hands, we have to be able to establish clear and firm rules. These should cover aspects such as: how and how much technology is used and what type of content is authorized.

However, it is not only about setting standards and supervising, you also have to set a good example. Let’s check if every time our son needs to tell us something or wants to play with us, he finds us absorbed in front of the computer or mobile phone screen. Norms will not work if they are not accompanied by a good example.

Warning signs

When your child does not want to leave video games, some of the following signs may appear. So, it’s time to take action before the situation escapes your control and puts your child’s stability at risk.

• Shows unusual preoccupation with the game when away from the console or computer. Just talk about the game.
• When he is not playing he has mood swings, discouragement, aggressiveness, sadness or is on the defensive.
• More and more time is being devoted to the need to play.
• Loses interest in playing with other children, in hobbies, or in socializing with friends. It is isolated.
• When you try to stop or reduce the time you spend playing video games, you can’t.

• He does not acknowledge or lie about the hours he spends playing.
• He is capable of not sleeping, not eating or not washing himself in order to spend more minutes in front of the screen.
• Bad grades and lack of interest in studies appear. Playing a few minutes before studying turns into hours of non-stop play.
• Faced with a difficult moment, your child turns all his energy into the video game. Nor does he speak, nor does he want to argue. Use the game to escape from reality.

He doesn’t want to give up video games: what do I do?

When a child or teenager does not want to give up video games, some measures must be taken for their well-being.

However, keep in mind that  discussions or impositions do not have to be more effective than a mutual agreement. Negotiation should be the tool to set clear limits and rules. Furthermore, these should be enforced with love and firmness.

• Take the console or computer out of the room. It should be located in a common space that you can supervise.
• The time for the video game comes after you have fulfilled your school duties and responsibilities at home.
• Agree with your child how many hours of video games he will have per day. You can start with a looser period that you will then reduce little by little.
• Let him know that he has 15 minutes left to play, then 10 and only 5 minutes, so that the end of the agreed period does not take him by surprise.
• Teach him how to save the games. For a child who has made a great effort to move from one level to another, it is difficult to quit the game.
• Restrict the use of games that are not appropriate for their age or with a high content of violence.
• Encourage other activities to replace the time spent playing the video game. You can encourage him to practice sports or artistic or social activities that allow him to interact with children or adolescents his age.
• Implement family activities. Share playtime with your children, from a video game or board game, to going out to play in a park.

• Establish with your child what are the sanctions that apply when he breaches any of the agreements. It can be an hour less of play or a day without playing. Be firm when it comes to applying the penalty.

Final reflection

If after having agreed on the formula to control the time in front of the video game, you notice that it cannot be controlled, perhaps you are facing an addiction. The best thing to do is seek the support of a specialist.

A child or adolescent who does not want to give up video games is exposed to serious consequences. These can affect both your physical, emotional and mental health. As parents we must help them overcome this problem. Let’s not hesitate: your safety depends on proper parental supervision.