I Learned To Be Strong When I Understood That I Had To Get Up Alone

Learning to be strong sometimes involves realizing that we ourselves are largely responsible for some changes. Despite the support and encouragement of others, in the end the decisions will be their own and no one will be able to take the steps that only correspond to one.

When we fall, the combination of ingredients such as motivation, self-esteem and enthusiasm will help us overcome difficulties. However, sometimes this personal balance is disturbed by various external factors such as periods of continuous stress, daily disappointments or the consequences that toxic relationships produce.

Therefore, we invite you to reflect a little more slowly on this matter. Thus, below we present several keys that may give you a little more light in such circumstances.

When life asks you to be strong

A common phrase of the famous physicist and scientist Stephen Hawking is that “complaining is useless and a waste of time.” We have the right to do so, there is no doubt. But when one finds oneself in a difficult and complex situation, there is no other choice: only we will be able to get out of the abyss.

Recognizing it is difficult, but necessary. The support of ours, family, friends or social institutions is essential. However, the step towards improvement and the conviction that we have to draw strength from weakness is an act that in the end is born in the depths of our own heart.

Nobody chooses to feel weak. It is the different events that ‘hit us’ to put us to the test. Thus, in times of adversity, changing your thoughts will be necessary to manage your emotions more effectively.

We explain what this strategy consists of and we propose others that are also useful in these cases.

Trust change: being strong depends largely on yourself

Those who love you can shake your hand to help you stand up. But if your legs do not support you and you tell yourself that you prefer to stay in bed, the help of others will be of no use.

On the contrary, if you choose to take advantage of that encouragement you receive to push yourself, you will see that being strong depends largely on you, that the last word is still yours. This could be seen in examples like the following:

• Apply a positive internal dialogue in the day to day. As you strive to eat better or do some exercise, another alternative is to avoid instructions such as “it is not possible”, “today I can not”, “I am unable”, “this is not for me”.

• By changing your thoughts, it will be easier for you to get away from your worries. This is suggested by studies such as the one conducted by psychologist Colette R. Hirsch and colleagues.

Accept and understand that life is also giving up and letting go

In recent times, another idea that is often sold in self-help books is that of learning to ‘let go’, both objects and people. Now this is often a complicated challenge considering that:

• We become attached to those we love because that is how we conceive happiness. Giving and receiving is the ultimate sense of joy. Therefore, it is almost inevitable not to cling to family, children or partner.

• However, the principle behind this key is to understand that nothing in life is certain. What we have today we can lose tomorrow. Learning to give up, to let go is something for which it will be healthy to be prepared.

• Accepting pain, separation and loss will allow us to make some fundamental adjustments. “I assume you don’t love me anymore, it hurts. But I understand that I can continue to advance by myself, being strong and loving myself ”.

Take care and gratify yourself

The best care is not what others offer, but what you give yourself. What does this mean? Let’s think about these dimensions for a few seconds:

• If we tell ourselves that life is no longer going to offer us anything good, that the train has already passed and that love or happiness will no longer appear, we are self-sabotaging. That is, there is no worse enemy than your own thoughts.

• As your attitude changes, so does the environment. That easy. If we begin to prioritize ourselves and take responsibility for the role we play in our well-being, we are likely to begin to perceive other stimuli in the environment.

• Now, let’s try to remember when we last gratified ourselves .  Because to be strong it is necessary to recognize that we deserve to be happy, enjoy and give ourselves positive emotions:
  • Allow yourself to enjoy the ‘here and now’, valuing any of the details that surround us: the light, the noise of people laughing, a friendly face in the reflection of a glass …
  • Make yourself a simple gift : a lunch, an afternoon at the beach, a new dress, a different haircut, an outing with friends, etc.

What do these keys tell us?

With these guidelines we wanted to highlight some essential ideas to face those adverse circumstances that so often put us to the test.

Without ceasing to lean on others, strategies such as managing one’s own thoughts, learning to ‘let go’ and, above all, loving each other are keys to getting up.

Because the moment we understand that the decision is ours, we will have taken the most important step.